Today I turn 34 years old. Can I just tell you how awesome that sounds? How amazing I feel?! I don't know, maybe 34 sounds old to some of you--I am officially in my mid-thirties after all--but this last year has been one of such awakening and personal growth that I feel so fresh, so alive, so fun and young and confident. I've always been fairly self-assured, but so much of me has been spent outside of myself as I've mothered the last ten years that I began to not recognize the face looking back at me in the mirror, and that is a problem! This last year I've made a real effort to rediscover myself, or rather, get to know my current self, and it's been such a rewarding process. I've unapologetically taken time for self-love, sometimes in the form of morning runs or mid-day dance classes and other times by simply treating myself to my favorite cheese at Costco or allowing myself time to read a checked-out novel from the library. I have taken ownership of my own happiness and put a priority on my care and it's been so empowering. I've also released myself from owning other people's happiness, which does not come naturally for me, but realizing that others are ultimately in control of their feelings has considerably lightened my load. I'm being the best me possible and totally owning it. If this is what mid-thirties feels like, then I think I'm going to like it.
Of course 34 finds me still asking big adult questions, like what am I doing with my life?! In the fall Coco will start attending preschool and for the first time in ten years I will have a completely kidless portion of my day. Now before any of us gets too excited, it's only three hours a day, but stttiiiiiilllll...what am I going to do with myself? What do I want to do? Get a job? Write a book? Clean my bathtub? Binge watch Gilmore Girls? I gave up my career to raise my children and I don't regret it for a second--staying home with them has been fulfilling and difficult and more than anything the right choice for our family--but all of a sudden I'm living in a house free of babies and I'm itchy for something, I just don't know what yet. 34, will you find me finding it?
In the meantime, I am fully celebrating the amazing life I have and feeling so grateful every single day for my health, my family, my friends and my abilities. I have been given so much, and don't I know it. At 33 I can host a party with my eyes closed, make a killer charcuterie board, give giant hugs, accomplish difficult running goals and plan awesome adventures for our family. Oh, and I've mastered the weekly Trader Joe's shopping run like a boss. Things I'd like to learn to do this year: fix things around the house instead of calling a handyman to save the day, cook salmon that is actually edible, body wave in my Hip Hop class without looking as tall and lanky as I really am. Well, that last one might not be possible...but I've got a year to try!
And speaking of Hip Hop, who would have thought that my 33rd year would see me taking weekly dance classes?! Not me, that's for sure. But Tuesday's are the absolute joy of my week and after deciding that my 34th birthday definitely needed a party I thought--well, let's do a Hip Hop Hooray bash, obviously! I rented out LA DanceFit on Saturday, the studio where I take classes, and hired my favorite instructor to teach 30 of my closest girlfriends a Hip Hop class. Was it a blast? Yes, yes it was. I loved that we could all get sweaty and have fun together and then afterwards head to the roof for good food and endless gabbing. One thing is for sure, I will never forget my 34th birthday!
Most of the ladies before heading downstairs to the dance floor. I spy with my little eye, the temple on the right-hand side. Wow, I love where I live!
I so badly wish that I could include the video on here because oh. my. gosh. we looked amazing!!!
I wish I had individual shots with every last person in this room (and some who had already gone to the rooftop) but I'm grateful we at least got this group shot so I can always remember all the people who came out to show me some birthday love.
Wil is my dance teacher and he is one of the most encouraging, happy, kind and talented people I know. I got multiple texts and calls after the party from people saying that he made them feel important and saw their potential. I know I sounded silly when I told him he was good at his job, but he is seriously good at his job! On the dance floor and off he is wonderful and I'm so grateful he agreed to come teach the class and make my birthday so special!
Thank you Amazon for making all my hip hop birthday party dreams come true!!!
It got dark and chilly (boo) but the food was delicious, the views beautiful and the conversation plentiful. Plus, we had jackets thank goodness.
Laura was my first friend when we moved to LA for James' internship before Everett turned one. I'm so glad that so many years later she is still such a major part of my life.
Casey offered to make my birthday cupcakes and James and I both agree they were the best cupcakes we've ever had. And I mean EVER. They were raspberry-filled chocolate cupcakes with chocolate ganache, raspberry buttercream and a fresh berry on top. I can't even tell you how grateful I am!
This is my running club. We ran 9 miles the morning of my party, raced around in a million directions all day, and still rocked it on the dance floor that night. We crazy! And we tired.
Of course Melissa was the first to get there and the last to leave. There are very few things I can accomplish in life without this friend who sees me at my highest and lowest and loves me just the same. Plus, she's the one who invited me to my first dance class (which I almost refused to come to because I am so not a dancer) so she gets forever brownie points right there!
I walked in the door on Saturday night after my birthday party and when James enthusiastically asked how it went I burst into tears. "It was amazing, it was perfect, I loved it...but I'm so tired!" Party hard has always been my way of doing life, and I'm not planning on slowing down anytime soon. I'm ready for you 34!
