Sleeping issues still abound and I've found that my patience is low and my emotions are high. I'm a blubbering mess and have felt pretty overwhelmed by what feels like a never-ending cycle of the exact same day. After a particularly long night of no sleep and a busy morning and afternoon around town a desperate and inconsolable Quinny showed up at my feet this afternoon with her brother's comforter in tow. Her teary-eyes begged me to hold her and I was shocked she accepted my offer to cuddle her like a baby. No sooner did I swaddle her in my arms then she was fast asleep. At first I couldn't get over the shock of it (because my two hours spent walking her back and forth to nap time were met with such vitriol), but then I too closed my eyes and 30 minutes later when I heard the baby cry out from the back room I awoke feeling like a new and improved human. Never underestimate the power nap, that's for sure. Quinny needed some fishy crackers to ease her into happy wakefulness, but the rest of the evening she was so pleasant and sweet and I felt so happy to have my girl in her true colors by my side.
After a Yakisoba dinner and a Melatonin dessert I sat with Quinny on her ice cream cone bed and read her one of our favorite bedtime stories about a Mama and her baby bunnies called You're Lovable to Me. It was a gift from Natania when we were leaving Stanford and as she warned it would, it makes me cry at every read. Tonight the Mama bunny felt particularly familiar as she told her baby bunnies that she would love them through every emotion. "When a Mama loves a bunny, she will love him when he's sad, or he's frightened, or she's lonely, or he's worried, or he's mad, or when's he's plain exhausted, or embarrassed, or just shy, or when they have the giggles and can't stop to tell you why." The Mama bunny herself was probably feeling many of those emotions as she made it through her day, I know there are times when I am sad and lonely and definitely exhausted, but that never changes the love she feel for her bunnies--and tonight I felt it more than ever. I love Talmage and Everett and Quinny and Coco and it is such an honor to be their Mama. Even on the hard days. Here's to hoping that tonight's warm fuzzies translate to peace and patience tomorrow morning!
"No matter what your feelings are, whatever they may be...I'm your Mama, you're my bunnies. And you're lovable to me."