I took a shower today, which pretty much means I'm winning at life. Except that it's been one of those days where I feel like I'm the worst, my kids are the worst and our messy home is most definitely the worst. Bad moods were prevalent around our pad and even though the ward BBQ brought some smiles this evening we came home to screaming baby girls, disobedient older boys and chaos, total bedtime chaos. This four against one business, sheesh.
The worst part is not necessarily the craziness, because crazy is our normal around here. The worst part is that all day my brain is going a million miles an hour with witty lines to write and meaningful stories to tell and there are times where I feel so inspired and excited, but by the time I have a second to actually pound the keyboard my brain is like applesauce and the only thing I can think to write is, well, I'm tired. I wish there was more time, or that there was a pause button I could press during the day, but the reality is that my mamas-girl Cora seems to always need to be rocked, fed or changed, my sassy Quinny is finally feeling the effects of becoming a big sister and is acting out in all sorts of heart-braking ways, my emotive Ever is perfecting his art forms of choice--the whine and tantrum--and my big boy T is clumsily making his way from little kidhood to bigger kidhood whilst needing a whole lotta TLC. I'm stretched thin. There is no pause button. And if the only thing I write on this blog is that I'm tired you should know that it is really coming straight from my heart and is just about the only thing on my mind. (Well that and chocolate, but sleep usually wins out. Usually.)
This little blog of mine is not going to win any awards for glamour and sadly my words these days seem to be weak and petty, but I've never tried to make our life seem like something it's not and right now, this is my life. It's crazy. It's noisy. It's messy. And have I mentioned that I'm tired?
But there are perks. I mean, look at these two pictures of my biggest fan:
Cutest little chunka-munka ever, amiright? A friend said she loved that Cora's cheeks rest on her shoulders and I laughed so hard, because don't they? And she loves me more than you can possibly understand which makes her pretty irresistible. I seriously want to slather her with butter and eat her for dinner, that yummy little Coco. She makes even the craziest of days totally worth it.