My magical unicorn princess baby

Cora is a unicorn--a magical creature that exhales rainbows and glitter and dances through life on white marshmallowy clouds. Being with her is like being on Santa Monica beach in September: perfect. Today we both had to get our first Covid tests. With positively-infected family members and some symptoms of our own we decided, reluctantly, that it was time for us to get some answers. I was in sweatpants--my outfit of choice, and she was in hers--a fancy dress, jewelry, tip-toe shoes (high heels) and a matching bow.  

"My body feels a little nervous right now," she sang earnestly while skipping towards the testing center.

"It's okay to feel nervous," I squeezed her hand in mine as we crossed the street, "I feel nervous too, this is my first time getting tested for Covid as well."

"WHAT???!!!!" she screamed incredulously. "You mean your first time in a long time, right? Your first time since you were a kid?"

"No baby girl," I whispered. "This is my first time EVER getting tested--just like you. Covid didn't exist when I was a kid."

There was silence for a second as we entered the room to see make-shift testing stations and triple-masked nurses with clipboards and testing tubes. It felt cool in there, other worldy even, and as I looked down into the deep brown eyes of my sunshiney girl I could tell she could feel it too. 

"I wish it didn't exist again," she said, an unusual wave of sadness rushing over her.

"Cora Wigginton," a nicer-looking nurse called. "Come right over here."

Her niceness didn't change the ugliness of her job--placing a long, sterile swab into my baby's nose until it tickled the back of her throat where the Covid bugs like to hang out. It feels like your brains are being scrambled like morning eggs if you ask me, and the silent tears rolling down Cora's cheeks told me that she felt the same. She was braver than most adults, the nice nurse said. Somebody get this girl some stickers, another one called out. She's pretty special, a third one replied. 

I held her in my arms, kissing her head and holding a tissue to her now-bloody nose. "I'm sorry, baby girl. That was horrible, wasn't it?" It was horrible, there was no getting around that. And I wanted her to know it was ok to feel it, to say it, to not be ashamed of any feelings, but especially unpleasant ones.

She turned to look in my eyes, arms still tightly wrapped around my body. "It was horrible!" she sniffed and wiped her sea salty tears. And then with hope and optimism rising from deep inside she said, "But at least now it's over."

Magical. Unicorn. Princess. Angel baby. 

I've heard it's a sign of maturity to hold two opposing emotions together at the same time, and if that is true than sweet Cora is well ahead of most five-year-olds I know. I love that she acknowledged the bad thing that had happened to her while also looking forward in faith. The next time I go through something hard in my life I will no doubt have Cora's cute little encouragement playing in my head, "It was horrible, but at least now it's over." 

Keep moving forward. Through Covid, through trials, through life. Thanks, sweet girl, for that lesson.

(Written a few months ago in my journal...spoiler--we were all positive!!!)

Me: Cora, how was your soccer practice today?

Cora: Cowa didn't do any action, dat's da fing.

Cora: I haven't seen you in 65 days, you got bigger Ruthie!

Ruth: My like you so much.

Cora: I wish you were my sister so I could see you so many more days.

Comes out of the water coughing: I guess I didn't close my mouth too tight.

"I'm your LA girl so I make sand angels!" 

Cora, about my YW activity: I wish I was young girl so I could go on the activity too with you.

Quinny

She's fierce and she's private, strong and incredibly tender. 

She beats up her brother one second and the next splits a granola bar in half because it's the last one and she doesn't want Mama to go without. 

A third grader said to her at recess last week, "You're so tall I thought you were in fifth grade" and I've heard her retell that story to me and Aunt Ash and her dad and all her siblings because being tall and being mistaken for an older girl is the epitome of her cool. 

She loves tickling baby feet and shopping for oversized t-shirts in the boys section. 

She loves soccer and reading and Pokemon and Minecraft and playing basketball at recess with Ginny and Ka'i and Adam and Amy the TA and sometimes some older kids too, she'll have you know. 

She looked at herself in the mirror this morning while I was doing her hair and said, "I'm beautiful, it's perfect" and I couldn't have been more proud of the person she loves. I mean, perfect is an understatement if you ask me--there aren't words to express the magic of this girl--but I'm well aware that it's infinitely more important that she feels that way about herself. 

She's the kind of person who takes the smallest slice of sacrament bread because she wants her siblings to have the biggest piece and spends her classroom money on pencils and erasers and little gifts for others. 

She's constantly sneaking money into the grocery store that she can put in the charity bin because she wants to help and love others. 

She scores goal after goal in her soccer game, and runs around the field until she's cherry red but hates taking a break and refuses to give up, even if the score is 20-1 and not in her favor. 

She's quiet, often camouflaging big feelings with an "everything's ok" sunshiney smile until her dark brown eyes betray her with tears and untold tales that only Mama notices. And sometimes, those stories are saved for her journal alone. She comes home from school and hides in the classroom for awhile so that she can write, write, write. She processes the world through paper and pen these days with dreams of someday being a writer and a builder. There is no doubt in my mind that she'll accomplish anything she wants. 

Quinny Best of All Worlds Wigginton is her name, and I love her.

Hangin'

We've had lots of opportunities to love on people lately--family, friends, and a lot of the youth from our area. Going on trek and to camp has given us so many opportunities to be involved with some of Sacramento's finest. It was a good August full of good people (after we got over Covid, obvs!)

Trek Family reunion--BBQ, cards and kickball.

Cute Audrey, one of my YCL's from camp and BV's very best cheerleader.

Channy and Hailey, the most musical friends and the greatest girls (also YCL's--what what). So glad I could come to watch them.

Birthday smoothies with Hailey after school. Love this girl!

T and I have been running together every morning and one day last week we realized we were matching. I love this kid and the time we get to spend together. We run, eat breakfast and do Come Follow Me before anyone else is awake.

Mary stayed with us for a week and we got to celebrate her birthday together. It was such a great day full of the most delicious food. 

When the sweetest 15-year-old asks if you want to be her "date" to a Jonas Brothers concert there is really only one appropriate answer--HECK YES!!! It was a great night with Ms. Ruby!

Honestly, we had such a great group of people there, including some Mama's and some other amazing girls I know from camp. How am I so lucky?!

HI BOYS!!!!!!!!!

Our first trek son is leaving on a mission so we went to watch him speak. Holy cow he did a great job! We are so proud of Nathaniel and can't wait to hear all about his mission.

You know I'm desperate to hang with Ash if I'm willing to wake up at 4 am for an exercise class! Orange Theory for the win (and mostly just being by her side!)

Sibling date night, minus Jord and Mad (boo Utah!) We stuffed ourselves on sushi and laughed the whole night.

The person I'm with the very most. Love my baby girl and the three solo hours we spend together each day.