Hip Hop Hooray, it's my birthday!

Today I turn 34 years old. Can I just tell you how awesome that sounds? How amazing I feel?! I don't know, maybe 34 sounds old to some of you--I am officially in my mid-thirties after all--but this last year has been one of such awakening and personal growth that I feel so fresh, so alive, so fun and young and confident. I've always been fairly self-assured, but so much of me has been spent outside of myself as I've mothered the last ten years that I began to not recognize the face looking back at me in the mirror, and that is a problem! This last year I've made a real effort to rediscover myself, or rather, get to know my current self, and it's been such a rewarding process. I've unapologetically taken time for self-love, sometimes in the form of morning runs or mid-day dance classes and other times by simply treating myself to my favorite cheese at Costco or allowing myself time to read a checked-out novel from the library. I have taken ownership of my own happiness and put a priority on my care and it's been so empowering. I've also released myself from owning other people's happiness, which does not come naturally for me, but realizing that others are ultimately in control of their feelings has considerably lightened my load. I'm being the best me possible and totally owning it. If this is what mid-thirties feels like, then I think I'm going to like it. 

Of course 34 finds me still asking big adult questions, like what am I doing with my life?! In the fall Coco will start attending preschool and for the first time in ten years I will have a completely kidless portion of my day. Now before any of us gets too excited, it's only three hours a day, but stttiiiiiilllll...what am I going to do with myself? What do I want to do? Get a job? Write a book? Clean my bathtub? Binge watch Gilmore Girls? I gave up my career to raise my children and I don't regret it for a second--staying home with them has been fulfilling and difficult and more than anything the right choice for our family--but all of a sudden I'm living in a house free of babies and I'm itchy for something, I just don't know what yet. 34, will you find me finding it?  

In the meantime, I am fully celebrating the amazing life I have and feeling so grateful every single day for my health, my family, my friends and my abilities. I have been given so much, and don't I know it. At 33 I can host a party with my eyes closed, make a killer charcuterie board, give giant hugs, accomplish difficult running goals and plan awesome adventures for our family. Oh, and I've mastered the weekly Trader Joe's shopping run like a boss. Things I'd like to learn to do this year: fix things around the house instead of calling a handyman to save the day, cook salmon that is actually edible, body wave in my Hip Hop class without looking as tall and lanky as I really am. Well, that last one might not be possible...but I've got a year to try!

And speaking of Hip Hop, who would have thought that my 33rd year would see me taking weekly dance classes?! Not me, that's for sure. But Tuesday's are the absolute joy of my week and after deciding that my 34th birthday definitely needed a party I thought--well, let's do a Hip Hop Hooray bash, obviously! I rented out LA DanceFit on Saturday, the studio where I take classes, and hired my favorite instructor to teach 30 of my closest girlfriends a Hip Hop class. Was it a blast? Yes, yes it was. I loved that we could all get sweaty and have fun together and then afterwards head to the roof for good food and endless gabbing. One thing is for sure, I will never forget my 34th birthday!

Most of the ladies before heading downstairs to the dance floor. I spy with my little eye, the temple on the right-hand side. Wow, I love where I live!

I so badly wish that I could include the video on here because oh. my. gosh. we looked amazing!!!

I wish I had individual shots with every last person in this room (and some who had already gone to the rooftop) but I'm grateful we at least got this group shot so I can always remember all the people who came out to show me some birthday love.

Wil is my dance teacher and he is one of the most encouraging, happy, kind and talented people I know. I got multiple texts and calls after the party from people saying that he made them feel important and saw their potential. I know I sounded silly when I told him he was good at his job, but he is seriously good at his job! On the dance floor and off he is wonderful and I'm so grateful he agreed to come teach the class and make my birthday so special!

Thank you Amazon for making all my hip hop birthday party dreams come true!!!

It got dark and chilly (boo) but the food was delicious, the views beautiful and the conversation plentiful. Plus, we had jackets thank goodness.

Laura was my first friend when we moved to LA for James' internship before Everett turned one. I'm so glad that so many years later she is still such a major part of my life. 

Casey offered to make my birthday cupcakes and James and I both agree they were the best cupcakes we've ever had. And I mean EVER. They were raspberry-filled chocolate cupcakes with chocolate ganache, raspberry buttercream and a fresh berry on top. I can't even tell you how grateful I am!

This is my running club. We ran 9 miles the morning of my party, raced around in a million directions all day, and still rocked it on the dance floor that night. We crazy! And we tired.

 Of course Melissa was the first to get there and the last to leave. There are very few things I can accomplish in life without this friend who sees me at my highest and lowest and loves me just the same. Plus, she's the one who invited me to my first dance class (which I almost refused to come to because I am so not a dancer) so she gets forever brownie points right there! 

I walked in the door on Saturday night after my birthday party and when James enthusiastically asked how it went I burst into tears. "It was amazing, it was perfect, I loved it...but I'm so tired!" Party hard has always been my way of doing life, and I'm not planning on slowing down anytime soon. I'm ready for you 34!

Evie Knight

Lately Everett thinks he's pretty cool. Or maybe I should change that up. Lately Everett is pretty cool. Last night we were at the dinner table and he nonchalantly flips on two pairs of sunglasses and says, "I'm so cool my shades wear shades!" James and I looked at each other like what in heaven's name just happened and then we both couldn't hold back the giggles. I mean, anyone witty enough to plan and execute that baby monologue is legit cool in my book, that's for sure.

He is full of one-liners these days, and they tend to make me simultaneously roll my eyes and fall for the little charmer. Last time he got in trouble for being a bug to his brother he smiled and said, "I'm naughty...but I'm handsome!" He's not wrong. And when I got home from my long run last Saturday he said, "I'm proud of you for running...(starts flexing)...but mostly I'm proud of me for having such a great Mom!" The fact that he turned my run into his pat on the back still makes me chuckle, now that's some self love! A few days ago he was walking around the living room saying, "I'm a lawyer, I'm going to steal your house" in his best Chicago mobster accent and when James asked him about it Ev simply answered, "What, isn't that what lawyer's do?" So, yeah, he's got a lot of respect for the profession that keeps him housed and fed! 

This year Everett has found his place on the playground. His brother had warned him of ball-hogs on the lunch-time soccer and football fields since he's now with an older group of kids but Ev quickly made a name for himself and comes home daily talking about his touchdowns and goals. He's aggressive and works hard and considering just a year or two ago he would cry at the mere mention of competition this transformation astounds me. A while back I walked by the school at lunchtime and sure enough, there was Everett Knight, flags attached at his waist and a football in his hand. Oh, I can't wait for the fall and another soccer season. Watching him play is a real treat.

He's also maturing in other remarkable ways that make me so proud. For example, there are so many nights I find him on Quinny's bed reading the girls their bedtime story without even being asked. He's so nurturing with them, calling them sweetheart and tucking them in and it's really heart-warming to watch. His reading in general is just amazing. That kid is devouring books lately and gets lost in the adventures. Before so much as a hello after school on Monday he's inside doing his "Monday jobs" because he's old enough to just know what to do--and boy does he know how to clean a sink and organize the shoe bin! He only wants to wear full suits to church now (preferably with a pocket square) and comes home from Sunday services really grasping difficult gospel truths and sharing his knowledge and testimony with us. That kid comes off as care-free but there's a depth to him that I'm recently getting to know and it's wonderful. He's wonderful.

But he's still seven and seven is still small and I am soaking it all in before my baby boy is big. His tall socks, the hat he inevitably throws on when I say it's time to brush his hair, his obsession with the song "I'm Blue" and the way he plays Beatles anthems on the piano are all things that I love about him right now, as a 7 and 5/6 year old. Sure he rarely ties his shoes and he's a weasel with either sibling directly linked to him but he's fun and sweet and has a smile and twinkling eyes that make me melt. Serious puddle status. He will always be my baby boy and I will always feel like the luckiest Mom for belonging to him. 

Rach snapped this really fast at Descanso a few weeks ago and I adore it. It's been way too long since I had a one on one picture with my Ever Knight. 

You have not seen a stink-face until you've watched Everett play dodgeball on a Friday night. Oh. My. Goodness. That was entertaining!

These are his shades of choice lately, and of course a hat! He was so proud of his Science Slam lego car, and I'm endlessly proud of him.

Blowing off steam

It's not every day that I force my already-jammied kids out the door for a sunset scooter ride, but it's also not every day that they've fought and screamed and cried so much that I think I might blow up. And I'm not meaning blow up at them, I'm meaning literally explode into a million, billion, trillion pieces from mental and physical exhaustion. A little bit of fresh air always does us a whole lotta good when we need to blow off some steam, and this night was no different. 

Also to note, Coco has moved up to the A Team as far as scootering is concerned and no longer needs to be worn in a pack while I scooter but can take her own around the neighborhood. 

GAME CHANGER! 

You've got your hands full...

"Are they all yours?" 

"Are you finally done?" 

"Wow, you've got your hands full."

I'm not exaggerating when I say that every.last.time. I am out with my four kids some stranger comes up to comment about the number of children I have. I usually laugh it off and tell them how blessed I am because I'm perfectly aware that in Los Angeles especially we are quite a circus, but recently Talmage told me it really bugs him. "It's kind of rude, don't you think Mom? It's like they think we have too many people and that's none of their business." It isn't their business, he's right, but I helped him understand that all four of our children are amazing, talented, capable and wanted and I feel blessed to be their mom...and also people are just fascinated by our family, and that's OK! 

Anyway, all this to say that last weekend when we had to go to Costco on a Saturday and were lucky enough to have James along I saw him pushing a cart with four precious babies in tow and my very first shocking thought was, "Wow, he's got his hands full!" Can you believe it? I'm not even kidding!

I get it now. That still wouldn't be my first comment to him were he not my hunky husband (maybe saying, "What a beautiful family" or "You're doing a great job" or "You're so lucky to have these kids" would be nice), but I get it!

James and our "handful" who I absolutely adore.

And these two pictures of our little hot dogs eating their hot dogs were some of my favorite-ever captures of them. 

Galaxy Date Night

My first professional soccer game is in the books thanks to a partner at James' firm with front row season tickets to the LA Galaxy and a busy schedule. Gosh, I'm grateful she's willing to share! It may have been late notice but must have been meant to be because Rach and Sean were free and we both found babysitters just hours before kick-off. The energy in that arena was unmatched and the extrovert in me was in heaven. The cheering, the crowds, the camaraderie and let's be honest, the nachos were all enough to make me a diehard fan. I mean, where do I buy my scarf? I even danced my way to a free t-shirt that I wore throughout the game. Needless to say it was a blast and I can't wait to go to another game.

If it looks like we're happy it's because we're seriously happy! Anytime spent with these two is a good time.

Oh, did I mention WE WON???! I seriously lost my voice from cheering so loud.

I've put a huge emphasis on dating this guy this year and it's been amazing. We've always been more of a watch-a-movie daters because it's easy and cheap and I still love a good night in, but it's been so refreshing to get a babysitter and get out of the house. 11 years later and I still really love him.

Discovery Cube and Kids Club

On my last post I said we had completed our LA Bucket List and obviously that's not completely true. There is so much to do here and I don't think we'll ever truly be done finding new fun ways to explore our city. Another Spring Break adventure was Discovery Cube children's museum, which we had never visited before. We went with Rachel and Co., our partners in crime, and had such a great time. So great, in fact, that we bought a membership so that we can visit the other Discovery Cube's and other affiliate museums in our country. I'm a sucker for a deal, and with a family as big as ours this somehow felt like one!

Ginny is two and a half years older than Coco but they are nearly the same size, look like sisters and are the sweetest of friends. Ginny is nurturing and loving and Coco eats up all of her attention and concern. There was rarely a time we were in the museum that these two weren't holding hands and walking together. 

There was a Hot Wheels exhibit and you'll never guess which one of my children was obsessed. Well, all of them, but Talmage's eyes were bugging out of his head! Still hasn't grown out of his love for cars and I think it's so sweet. 

Somehow these two best frienemies look like twins in this picture, at least size-wise. They are the cutest little pit crew duo, especially when they're getting along. 

T was reminded that being a goalie is not his thing after pretending to be an LA King and have pucks slung at him!

I'm not going to name names, but not everyone finished that pully on the far left--the hardest one--but my girl Quinn definitely did. That girl will move mountains someday--literally and figuratively!

Can you spot some Wiggy inspectors on this board?!

Mama's holding babies...and cheetahs, binkies, blankets and chocolate, haha!

The day after visiting the Cube us little Wig's headed to the Grove for a Kids Club puppet show. I somehow got talked into staying for both shows and so what I thought would be an hour trip ended up lasting three and a half. Haha, these kids have my crazy stay-all-day genes, that's for sure! We had a really good time together.

The marionette show was great, but this was the highlight! We were the first people on the trolley, which Coco was sure came from Daniel Tiger's neighborhood, and got to ride on the bench up front. The ride was approximately five minutes but it made their day and therefore made mine. I love them.

Descanso Gardens

We Spring-breaked in Los Angeles this year for a number of reasons and even though we missed Utah and cousins and our traditional Easter adventures it was fun to be grounded and explore this city we love so much. At this point in our LA life we have pretty much conquered our Bucket List and now our adventures are repeats from past fun. Isn't it crazy that we've lived somewhere long enough to be locals?! That being said, we decided on Descanso for our first Spring Break adventure and I couldn't help but comment like a broken record about how different it looked in the spring (I've only ever visited in the fall and summer). The gardens were lush and green and the flowers were breath-taking and bounteous. I'm so grateful to experience new and wonderful views in our same, sweet city. 

This crew ran around Descanso like they owned it, and don't tell them they don't! The weather was cooler than we realized it would be--we even got rain--but they were such great sports and somehow didn't complain at all about being cold. How is that possible when it was almost all I could talk about?!

It's still hard for me to believe I have a ten-year-old, and I'll probably feel like that with him at every age. He is my oldest and there is something that will always be special and stretching in our relationship--because we are learning through life and parenting and maturing together, me and him. I'm grateful for our mutual patience and endless adoration, and also for those moments where it's crystal clear that we understand each other's best intentions. I really love him and am so grateful he's forever mine...especially when he sits on a ledge and asks me to take his picture. Say what?!

This picture reminds me so much of my Noni. Even before we left for the gardens I put this hand-me-down sweater on Quinny for the first time and thought, "Noni would wear a pull-over like this!" Isn't it funny how a simple sweater pulled out of a bag could elicit such memories, such emotion. And not just the sweater--the flowers! I don't think it's a bad thing for people to see Mother Earth's beauty and think of someone, what a compliment, and she is exactly where my mind turns when I see new, colorful growth. When I saw this flower bed of blossoms I knew Noni could name because I've seen them in her yard I desperately wanted a picture of Quinny right in front. Actually, I desperately wanted Noni to be here, to be walking through these gardens with me and admiring their beauty, to see my home and my life in LA and to shower us with her goodness, but a picture that reminded me of her was the only suitable second. Quinn Isabel is named after Noni's mom and I love to look at this little girl and remember that so many of the qualities of the women I love is found in her. Ours is a rich history of strong women who saw and see blossoms while standing in weeds and I'm grateful to be apart of their legacy. 

That full-face dimpled smile gets me every, single time. She IS joy.

Monkey see, monkey do. 

And when we got home, tired from a long day we had hot cocoa and nachos...because why not?! Olive you, Coco, and your cute siblings too!