Our baby nectarine

The work crew. Where is Everett, you may ask? Inside reading (and hiding from work.) He read four novels this weekend alone!

"We" planted our first tree at our new home--a nectarine that will hopefully be productive in a year or two. It seemed like a pretty big step, and a pretty exciting one! James is a beast and has been working to make our garden beautiful every single Saturday for MONTHS, and it's been a whole lot of stones and dirt and sprinkler systems and digging holes. But yesterday, oh yesterday, we planted a tree!!! The garden still has a ways to go to be ready for the spring, but I can't help but get a smile on my face over my new baby nectarine. ("We" planted it really meant that James did all the prep work and then allowed me to actually put the tree in the hole...and then he buried and perfected it. Love him for letting me be involved!) Photo--and 100 million others--courtesy of Quinny Cat.

Pretendemies

They pretend to feud NONSTOP but next thing you know they're changing outfits in order to twin, haha! One of James' New Years Resolutions is to be better friends with Ash (wink, wink), and I'd say they're off to a good start! (In all honesty, it's one of my great delights to see Ashleigh pester James and then to see him sneak a smirk between grumps.) They love each other, and I love them! 

T's a Deacon!!!

"Every woman and every man who makes covenants with God and keeps those covenants, and who participates worthily in priesthood ordinances, has direct access to the power of God."

--President Russell M. Nelson

Talmage is turning twelve this year which means he gets the priesthood. (How is he old enough? How am I old enough?!) In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the priesthood is the power and authority to act in the name of God to serve others. T is such a good boy and really wants to do the right thing, so his preparation was intentional and he spent a lot of time thinking about whether or not he was ready for this added responsibility. I love that he's a thinker and has a desire to know things for himself. There have been a lot of conversations this last month about testimonies, recognizing the Holy Ghost and how to make big decisions--and ultimately he felt ready and excited and all in. Last week, surrounded by a small and socially-distanced group of family (and outdoor to boot), he received the priesthood through a blessing by his Dad, and he was nothing but smiles! We are so grateful to live close to family and for their love and support to Mr. T and all of us. Go forth and serve, baby boy! 

Holy Mornings

I miss my running club more than I can adequately express. Also, I just miss running. My knee has been playing games with me for the past few months so I'm taking time away from pavement pounding to allow for healing. And although I know it's the right choice, it's definitely not the easy one. I'm so grateful that despite my gimpyness James and I have encouraged each other to get out of bed each morning to sweat it out, albeit in different ways than I'm used to doing. We row in our chilly basement, we stretch our old and tight bodies, we take a cool-down walk and talk around the neighborhood. Usually we have our separate work-out crews but we're filling each other's friendship void and you know what? So far, so good! The early mornings have felt particularly holy lately and I'm being deliberate about simultaneously holding the longing for what was, the hope for what could be and the gratitude for what is.

My treasure

"The family is the greatest treasure of any country. Let us all work to protect and strengthen this, the cornerstone of society."

--Pope Francis

Gratitude just outside

Something as simple as opening the curtains in my bedroom was all it took today. It was early, and as I drew them back I couldn't help but think of how funny it was that I opened them just to close them 12 hours later with little contact in between, but the fresh morning light came pouring through my window--in a dark, moody, cold January type of way--and I was just instantly and overwhelmingly grateful. The overgrown olive trees, the camellia bushes with bursting buds, the kid's sidewalk chalk, soggy from morning mist, it was all so moving to me. I've never much appreciated anything other than the summer heat but this morning as I looked outside I craved a brisk walk, the smell of fallen leaves, a cut flower for my kitchen table. Mother Earth, man, she's got a way of smacking me across the face sometimes in the most simple and subtle ways. Being alive is a privilege and this world is a wonder.

Welcome to 2021!

Last New Years Day I begged 2020 to be gentle with us. It had been a dark, difficult and isolating season with the Little Wigs--and that was even before a global pandemic and national lockdown--and I just wanted peace and calm and a return to normalcy, whatever that even means. But then 2020 barged through the door, anything but gentle, and quickly my life was upended in every possible way. I became a homeschool mom. My races and concerts were cancelled. I stopped writing. We left the beach and my besties and moved up north. We bought a big house on a big property that needed (needs) big updates. We lost multiple grandfathers. We saw Covid's ugliness firsthand. My life in 2020 was largely full of masks and zooms, suburban house projects and stress. And happiness and joy and healing and fun, of course, but I don't want to lie about this year's heaviness. If I'm being honest with you, it's not been easy for me to grasp the avalanche of changes that our family has experienced in 2020, and it's almost comical to consider my plea for a gentle touch.

But while this year showed only a strong arm, I surprisingly found the gentleness I craved. It was a treasure buried deep within my ever confident, energetic and wild soul and somehow, this year when I needed it most, it was found. It was subtle and not at all automatic, but the deeper I dove into 2020 the more quiet grace I was able to offer the world. I was gentle with myself--my weaknesses, my shortcomings, my emotions that lasted too long and the ones that never showed their faces. I was gentle with others--their decisions, their experiences, their feelings that I didn't understand and the ones that I felt right along side them. I was gentle with situations that I couldn't control, and sometimes more difficultly with situations that I could. And sometimes I wasn't gentle at all--I messed up this year, too. It hurt and I stewed and then I took a deep breath, and forgave myself. Gentle is not a word usually found on my resume, but this year it's been written in bold right under my name. In a year where everything has been out of control, I'm particularly proud of the way I've shown up for myself. It's not been perfect or easy or always very pretty, but I've been more accepting and light and calm and it's not a bad look on me.  

Now, here comes 2021, and to be honest I'm not asking her to give me anything but time. I'm going to show up for my life just like I did in 2020, and I'm hopeful that it will be another year of reflection and growth, self-discovery and happiness. And while I don't have a list of stringent do's and don'ts for the new year, I have thoughts about who I want to be this year: a person who moves their body daily, a person who plays more board games with the kids, a person who doesn't exaggerate, a person who is not constantly asking for things to be cleaned up, a person who is content. I also reeeealllllllly want a few good parties this year--like huge, massive, invite everyone you know kind of parties--but I'll put a pin in that one until it can be a maskless (and legal) event! I've missed the party-part of me, I'm hoping to find her again real soon.

In a small way I saw her on New Years Eve, and it was exhilarating. The invite list was small, but there were sparkles on our cheeks, appetizers being devoured and a night full of games and laughs and a disco-ball dance party. It was my type of heaven and I was high on extroverted energy for hours into 2021. I'm going into 2021 feeling deliberate, feeling joyful, and feeling grateful. And also wearing sweatpants with my sparkly shirt, because 2020 definitely taught me a thing or two!