You Don't Owe Prettiness to Anyone.

"You Don't Have to Be Pretty. You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female". I'm not saying that you SHOULDN'T be pretty if you want to. (You don't owe UN-prettiness to feminism, in other words.) Pretty is pleasant, and fun, and satisfying, and makes people smile, often even at you. But in the hierarchy of importance, pretty stands several rungs down from happy, is way below healthy, and if done as a penance, or an obligation, can be so far away from independent that you may have to squint really hard to see it in the haze." 

--Erin McKean from A Dress a Day

This has long been a favorite quote. It was a favorite before I ever had daughters of my own and it's my favorite now that I have two unique, amazing, confident, beautiful and astoundingly different ones. Basically I read this quote and find peace in a world where a woman can be exactly the shade of feminine or feminist she wants, and it's all good. You can be pretty in your own way. Strong in your own way. Driven and independent and happy in your own way. You can like Bob the Builder or Barbie, Fancy Nancy or football, princesses or play fighting and maybe all of the above some days and that's OK. That's amazing even! It's such an incredible time to be raising women in this world and I'm thrilled that my girls get to be living their one big, important life right now, when the world is rich and ready for them.

What you get when they dress themselves for the park! Yin and yang, these two.

Coco wants dresses and curls, Quinny cargo jeans and buns, but they both dig those glasses at swim lessons!

That armband rarely leaves her wrist and she likes her brothers cub scout hat because it looks like Ash from Pokemon.

Dress yourself, another edition.

Post-run protein drink with a "princess cheetah" that wanted to eat her cereal wif Mama.

MePa: Operation Piano

While not normally a "things" girl, a family heirloom gets me all kinds of twitter-pated. There's something about holding and using and loving an item that has been held, used and loved by my people for generations that makes me feel connected to them and breathes life into our home. I feel that way about Bops' rocking chair perfectly placed by the living room casement windows and Grandpa James' Korean Happy Man that rests on our mantle. I feel that way about Gaga's Stanford painting which hangs right outside my bedroom door, Grandpa's stain-glass heart that all the passer-by's notice and Noni's Asian Sculpture which is a focal point in our dining room. Having their items makes me feel like they are with me, looking over our family and a part of our lives here in Los Angeles. I like that these items have had a life and adventures of their own and now I am part of their story--it makes me feel like a part of something so simple and yet so grand. 

All that to say, when my parents were re-doing their living room and decided to get rid of the McKee family piano, I jumped at the opportunity to have it in my home. This was the piano that Nana bought for Noni when she was a teenager with musical talent and aspirations. She has such a beautiful voice even now, and although she admits she never appreciated the piano like she should have I can almost hear her beautiful alto voice singing along to these very keys. It cost her parents nearly $1000, a small fortune for their family, and is such a beautiful example of sacrifices that parents make for the betterment of their babies. This was the piano that saw my Dad as a mischievous and inventive little boy. One day he decided to make his piano practice just a little bit easier by using permanent marker to write the notes on the tip of each keys. It wasn't long before he realized he was a dead kid walking if he didn't fix the situation so he decided to break off the edges of every key with pliers (because kids and logic don't always come hand in hand). He doesn't remember what came of that crazy idea--obviously he lived--but I love the story that goes behind this old piano's broken keys. And this was the piano of my youth. It was the piano I practiced on when my parents were weeding someone's yard in exchange for my weekly lessons. It was the piano that held my Mom's treasured Christmas houses each holiday season, the same houses that I have inherited and this year will sit atop the piano at my home. It was the piano that James played Beatles music on when our love was fresh and new. This piano has had a life already rich, and now my children and our Wigginton family are part of it's journey.  

My parents were kind enough to rent a Uhaul and drive it down to LA a few weekends ago. Other than a pinched neck from my Dad lifting more than his share, the transfer went off without a hitch...and our family is THRILLED with our new addition. A piano tuner came just a few days later and after tuning our instrument and playing some show-tunes, told us that when this piano was manufactured there were no Ipads or computers or even TV's. Families would sit around the piano for hours to play and sing and laugh; it was the center of their home. He played a few more songs and said, "This piano is in great condition and plays beautifully. It can be the heart of your home too." And did I cry? You know I cried a little. I hope this piano is a meeting place in our home for years to come. 

Thanks Mom and Dad, Noni and Nana, we love you all!  

Our new piano with our amazing tuner, Jeff.

Mema got to crash Ev's publishing party where he wrote All About Lego's and dedicated it to his big brother.

Basically Mom was here for 36 hours and I made her do all the work-out things with me! We scootered, went to hip hop class and went on a 4-mile run. It was an eventful and fun and exhausting time!

I really loved the Lego Movie 2. Like, reeeeeallly recommend it!

While Mom and I ran, Coco and Pepa cuddled and watched Daniel Tiger. Sweet duo!

Point Dume on a Sunday

It seems the majority of Southern Californian's have super bloom brain these days and after a quick Sunday visit to Point Dume, I can understand why. We went on a short hike and saw thousands, maybe millions, of sunshine yellow buds decorating these gorgeous Malibu cliffs and even the grumpiest of Wiggy kids couldn't get over their beauty. As if the flowers weren't enough, our fishy friends put on quite the show for our crew. There were at least a dozen whales playing right in the ocean's brake and all six of us watched, mouths agape, as their massive bodies were twirling and diving and breathing where our little ones are usually boogie boarding. Oh, and there's more. The dolphins were extra stoked on life and were doing Seaworld-esque flips in the air with their friends and to our cheers. Our afternoon Sunday adventures are becoming my favorite moments of the week and leave me grateful for God, my family and this glorious earth. 

Whale and dolphin watching like it was our jobs!

Hiking becomes a whole lot trickier when this bucketed babe wants to stop every few feet to build a castle!

Kids say, just today...

I used to be so much better about recording the hilarious and amazing things my kids say nonchalantly, but I'm not that great at it anymore. I'm not even good, darn it. Kids are so funny, aren't they? And it comes so naturally to them. They're still learning about words and the world and the way they form sentences and express thoughts and feelings makes me giddy with their innocence. Lately I've had so many times when they've said something and I think, I'll never forget this, or at the very least, I never want to forget this, but I do. I always do. And the family historian in me is devastated because this phase of life and motherhood is flying by and I need to remember every ounce of their little-person goodness before it passes. Today I jotted down a few of their funnies on the back of a church invitation and it's a start, I just love them so much.

Quinn, during our nightly prayer: Please bless that no robbers come and steal our car. Please bless that our boat won't sink. And I'm really sad that Jesus' cousin, John, died. 

Ev: Jesus is the best super hero in the world.

Me, last night at the BYU vs USC volleyball game: Coco, do you like the game?

Coco: Yes! I weawy wike da sparkawy ones! (The cheerleaders, duh!)

Me, to a new friend: I'm a stay-at-home mom.

T: No you're not! You're always taking us places and we're doing things. You never stay at home. You're an adventuring mom!

Family moment captured via selfie...

Family moment captured via friendly passer-by!

T's Birthday: A date with Mom and Dad

When James turned ten his parents took him out to dinner and to a movie to celebrate the monumental occasion. He has such great memories of this two-on-one time and as soon as I heard about this Wigginton tradition I knew we should adopt it into our little Wig gig. Being a kid in a big family is such a gift, but it often means that alone time with your parents is in short supply (especially when you are the capable oldest child and your sisters are still baby monsters!) I knew this had the potential to be so memorable and went right to work planning a date perfectly fit for a ten-year-old Talmage.  

After considering what felt like a million amazing ideas and making at least a hundred revisions after that, we planned a date that was interactive, personalized and what I hoped would be perfect for Talmage. I wanted him to come home with incredible memories but also with the knowledge that his mom and dad know and love him and planned a special day with only him in mind. 

We decided on a day date because T would always choose breakfast over dinner and the daylight would give us more time to adventure. We started at the Griddle for pancakes that he insisted were three times the size of his head...I think he was right! I was so nervous about the rest of the day that I couldn't even eat my french toast and thought I might get sick, but luckily we could take all this delicious food to-go and it ended up feeding the family for the next two days!

After breakfast in Hollywood we headed downtown for our big adventure: riding the glass slide off the tallest building west of the Mississippi! I knew T wanted to do this because it was the grand raffle prize for our library's summer reading program last year and he's talked about it a few times since. It doesn't surprise me that this was on his bucket list because he's adventurous and loves some good bragging rights! The views from the top were amazing and the weather was really showing off--we could see everything! As for the slide--wowzers, it really was a glass slide 70 stories high! I thought it was terrifying, James didn't think it was too bad and Talmage thought it was the funnest thing ever. He must have gone down the slide a dozen times or more. 

From there we headed to a swanky bowling alley and bowled two games while dining on pizza and endless soda. This was so fun because we were all cheering and bantering and really just enjoying each other's company.  Our last stop was to Beverly Hills to walk through the Lamborghini dealership. I know that sounds silly, but I'm not kidding when I say that T's favorite part of the day was probably that last (and free) stop. And for goooood reason. I had called the dealership about a week before our visit just to make sure we were allowed to visit and the receptionist assured me that we were more than welcome to come in, but that the Lamborghini's remained locked so we could just see the outside of the cars. That was great with us! So you can imagine my surprise and delight when on his birthday date one of the salesmen took an interest in T and not only let him sit in one of the cars, but allowed him to start it right there in the dealership. T started a $600,000 car!!! He immediately got out and said, "Mom, I can never wash my hands again. I just touched the inside of a real Lamborghini!" I'm so grateful for nice people in this world who strive to bring joy to others. I know it was just sitting in a car but for my lambo-loving boy, that made his birthday!

We were gone from 8:30 to 3:30 and then T was off to a birthday party for his friend and James and I were left talking about how much you can accomplish when you're adventuring with just one kid, who is basically a mini-man! We had such a fun day, T a great birthday date, and a new Wiggy birthday tradition was born. Hooray for 10 year olds! 

 We all thought he was getting one giant pancake with strawberries and whip cream. We were wrong!

I told them numerous times that it was like I was going on a date with the same two men who are twenty years apart. Honestly, they are SO alike it's uncanny.

 I mean, could I have gotten a better shot? Nope!

 Oh, I love him!

 

 

 

I don't want to brag, but after a slow start in the first game I chased down the win in game two. Sorry boys, but my name wasn't "Bomb Mom" for nothing, haha! 

  T's happy place.

   That smile!!! This is something none of us will ever forget. 

Maybe this will be yours someday, T. I hope it will be!

T is Ten (and a birthday interview)

I really wanted T to have a good birthday this year for the same reason that I really wanted James and I to have a good anniversary last year, because a decade of marriage, a decade of life, a decade of anything really seems like such an accomplishment. Sure, other than entering the world of double-digits turning ten is not so different than turning nine, but there is something about turning ten that feels so different and seems to welcome my sentiments. I look back on a decade of shared history and, well, I just sit in it for awhile. Sit and think and remember and reminisce. Time is so beautiful and memories so special and a decade of anything finds me grateful. So grateful.

There's something about my T turning ten though that feels extra, well, extra finite. It's like we are turning the page on his childhood and welcoming adolescence and I'm dizzy trying to wrap my head around it. T's first ten years found him nursing and potty-training, learning to ride a bike and read. We moved a lot, he traveled the world and most importantly he became a big brother again, and again, and again. He was all mine for these first ten years, and I his trusted guide through life. The next ten years will find him in middle school, high school, even college. He'll be learning to drive, learning to date, learning what he wants to do with his life and making big decisions with his own big, beautiful soul. He's still mine and always will be, but this next decade may find him falling for someone, serving a mission, leaving my nest. During his first ten years of life I have been teaching him how to share--toys, books, my attention. During these next ten years I'm going to have to learn how to share something way more valuable. Him.

Oh Talmage Scott, I love you more than you can imagine. You are capable and determined and have a heart that matches your brain in size and I'm proud to be your mom in this decade, the last and all to come. Happy 10th birthday, baby boy. I hope it was everything you hoped it would be!

BIRTHDAY INTERVIEW:

What is your favorite...
Color: Yellow or orange. Mostly yellow, don’t worry. That’s not changing.
Food:  Hm, pizza. Not pepperoni, cheese. Or ice cream, just any flavor of that. Preferably French vanilla.
Game: Ipad, board or card? Your choice. Clash royale, asphalt 8 or gin rummy.
Book: Probably Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus or maybe harry potter. Strange, all these years and I don’t even know.
Toy: Bey blades, my lazer tag or my hot wheels.
Treat: I really like caramel, but I can’t eat that because of my stupid expanders. Ice cream is relaly good too.
Song: Song…well, I don’t really know but lately all the Teen Titans songs have been stuck in my head and also The Lord is my Light has been stuck in my head, I don’t know why.
Thing to learn about: Lately I’ve been liking science a lot. I really liked earth science but lately we’ve been learning about the human body and that’s fun too, like the circulatory system.
Animal: Peregrine Falcon or red tailed hawk. Very specific!
TV show: I haven’t been watching much of it lately, but Pokemon. Sun and Moon preferably.
Thing to wear: My Spaceman pajamas and my CIMI Sweatshirt. Definitely  my CIMI sweatshirt!
Holiday: My birthday or Christmas. Maybe Easter because we usually get to spend it in Utah.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Still haven’t really decided on that but maybe a mechanic. Or an engineer. Or an inventor, something like that.

If someone was being mean to your brother, what would you do? Is it ok if I’m a bit violent with this? I’d get a bunch of grenades, pull out the pin and boom!

Who is your best friend? Lucas, Ayton and Drake.

What is something you want to learn to do this year? I want to get better at my flip-turns, and I really don’t know, I think that’s it!

What is something that you are really good at? I’m good at gin rummy and pogo sticking, and many, many, many other strange things. Like snot rockets, making obnoxious noises.

If you had a million dollars, what would you buy? I would invest in Amazon. And I would buy a bunch of stuff that I don’t need but I just want.

If you were an animal, what would you be?  Maybe not a peregrine falcon because they eat mice. Maybe I’d be a herbivore, like an elephant.

What do you want someone to invent? Something that can make humans fly, like a potion.

If you could have a magic power, what would it be? I would want to fly or have the power to talk to animals.

How many kids do you want to have when you grow up and get married? Two to seven. That sounds like a reasonable number.

What kind of house would you like to live in: an igloo, a tree house, a castle, a cave, or our house? Can I have a combination of castle and tree house? Like a castle hidden in trees in the jungle.

Who is the prettiest girl in the whole world? I don’t like this question. Do I have to answer it? How about you…I’ll just say that.

Where do you want to go on your mission? Somewhere where there’s food that I know about and like. I’ve always wanted to go to Utah because a lot of family lives there. Maybe Hawaii, or Alaska…I’ve always wanted to go there. Maybe England?

What's your favorite scripture story? Well, this one I just heard about. It’s from the bible. You won’t like it. There was this king, and he was like, super fat. And even in the book it says he was a very fat man. And this guy, he hated the king for some reason so he got an 18 inch long knife not including the handle and stabbed the king and then pushed the handle in so he couldn’t pull it out. And he was so fat that it only barely comes out his back. That’s like 2 feet and it’s not out, he’s got to go on a diet.

It's Raining. Blah!

 The boys were playing dodgeball with friends and the girls talked me into a date night consisting of Din Tai Fung dumplings and buying them glasses so we could be all the same! Love these little messy mamas.

It's been a few solid months of rain here in Los Angeles and when I say I'm over it, you can take those words at face value. I. Am. SOOOO. Over. It. A summer-lover and sunshine queen, these grey, wet days are doing nothing for my mood. Most February's bring me at least a few warm beach days, but this last one was the coldest in LA's recorded history and has found me shoveling my savings to keep that furnace fired up. It's cold. I'm a wimp. And gosh it's so wet and messy outside. There's a reason I'm not a Washingtonian and this is it. Please Mother Nature, return the sunshine to SoCal. 

In other news, I think I'm getting sick on top of it being my monthly moment, which is probably why when I sat down to rest/write all I could think about was grump, grump, grump and whine, whine, whine. The temperature hasn't taken a beating in quite a while on this blog of mine, years even, but this afternoon it was the unfortunate recipient of my under-the-weather wrath. It's not that bad, my sickness that is, I just feel sluggish with a sore head and maybe there's a small tickle in my throat? I'm the queen of talking away my symptoms but after 24 hours of unsuccessful persuasion I'm sitting on my bed, listening to the birds sing through the rainstorm and trying to give myself a break. A productive break, I'm blogging and all, but hopefully the thirty minutes between now and when the boys come racing through the door will do my tired body some good. 

One last thing before I go, I'm running again. After my 5K in December I lost all motivation and didn't log a single mile in January. And while February brought it's fair share of rain it also saw me signing up for an April 10K and committing to a training regime that is bringing me so much strength and confidence and happiness. I won't say I love running because I try not to lie, but I ran over 35 miles in February and shaved a whole minute off my average mile and I'm so proud of myself I could burst! The real highlight of my work-out week, however, comes from my Tuesday hip-hop class which is harder, more mentally stimulating and a thousand times more fun than any kind of exercise I've ever done. I may not be able to control the weather, or most things for that matter, but I'm moving my body and that has definitely helped me not be so grumpy about the rain. Until today that is!