Oakland Temple Open House

I'm always keeping it real over here so let's just say that this jaunt to northern California for the Oakland temple open house was not as magical as I had hoped it would be. James was working on a few different deals at work and what was supposed to be a four-day family vaca turned into a very short, very last minute and mostly stressful work trip. We spent almost 20 hours driving in 48 hours, so that should tell you something, and then there was lots of waiting at the Open House and no wifi and just, ahhhh...best laid plans, you know? But you know what, we went. We tried. And sometimes success isn't measured by how much fun you had but in just living through something, with a smile on your face if possible. And I smiled guys! Success!!! 

But also on our way home Talmage said from the back seat, "I loved going through the temple, especially the Celestial Room, it felt really good in there." and I was like, ok, ok, all this craziness was totally worth it. The temple can provide so much peace and clarity, and I'm hoping my babies can gain a testimony of this holy place from a young age.  

This is where I was sealed to my parents when I was three, James was sealed to his parents when he was in High School, and both of us received our endowments before our mission. It's such a special place to me and I loved being back there with my kids.

I ran into two sets of friends at the temple and got SO excited!

The six of us (plus a baby doll that Cora wouldn't put down that weekend for a second).

Flower child.

I was so grateful to be there with our LA/SF friends. Love these besties!

Field tripping with Ever

'Twas the end of the year and I still hadn't filled my one-field-trip-a-year quota for Ever Knight, and don't even think he let me forget it! Luckily there was a walking field trip that I squeezed myself into at the last minute. TBH, the field trip in general was just ok, but spending two hours walking around with Ev and his buds? Now that was a good time! Happy that kid is mine, even if he did mutter, "well, that was embarrassing" when I gave him a hug goodbye!

My kid, and my "almost" kid!

Jumping for joy that they were on a field trip!

Love you, Evie!

Quinny: Our Preschool Graduate

At the beginning of this school year Quinny was moved up from the Early Learners class to the Pre-K class so that she could be with all of her little church friends. She misses the cut-off for Kindergarten by a month and even though I knew she'd thrive in the older class, I had the typical mom-worry for weeks that I had made the wrong choice. (Why do we do that to ourselves sometimes?) The good news is, I didn't! My sparkly, sunshiney Quinn had the most fantastic year in Pre-K and even though all her friends will be going to Kinder and she'll be heading to TK, she is excited to go to a big kid school next year with them and I'm forever grateful for all that she's learned this year and how much joy preschool has brought into her life. Her teachers were angels, she had wonderful friends and as an added bonus, she loved me 1,000 times more after spending a little time apart. A few weeks ago we had a little preschool graduation for her and her friends and it was darling. So proud of our little graduate!

"Hi, my name is Quinn and I'm four years old. When I grow up I want to be a police or a fireman."

Baby besties with matching flowers!

Oh how I love this little Mama!

This was right before she started tackling Carson, haha!

These three are so talented and I'm grateful for the time, energy and effort they put into teaching and loving my baby. Teacher Shane always made Quinny laugh by pretending to eat her food (and arms!), Teacher Rama taught Quinny so many manners, like saying hello to an adult when you enter the room, and Teacher Sandra knew and loved Quinn for the athletic, strong, bright kid that she is. They all have a gift of seeing these kids at their best and I love them for it.

Coco was the best little date to graduation. Crazy to think that she'll be at Quinny's school next year and Quinn will be with the boys. My kids are getting so big, so soon.

Love you Quinny Cat, congrats on your first graduation of many!

Mother's Day Hat

Sometimes I feel like slime, stretched so thin between my children's dirty, dimpled fingers that I become translucent and nearly torn in two. It's a game they play--let's see how far we can push the scientific limit of this fun and colorful goo before it falls lifelessly from our grasp. But at the very last second, before all is lost, they catch that slime in their hands and roll it back into a strong and perfect ball. And then they do it again. Oh, I am that slime. I've lost myself, I've found myself, I'm being stretched, I'm feeling whole, I'm theirs, I'm mine, who am I kidding? I'm theirs. I have so much respect for my body, my mind and my heart during the thinnest of times and I am eternally grateful for the moments that I feel resilient and powerful. Mothering during this season is different and more difficult than I imagined it would be, what with hormones and homework and attitudes and opinions, but I really do love this quirky bunch and I'm nothing if not dedicated to them and our life. A for effort, that's my current mothering mantra! Happy Mother's Day to me, and to all other women the world over who are doing their best for the ones they love.   

Quinn was ridiculously proud of the hat she made me at preschool and kept asking if I was going to wear it to church on Sunday. Umm...of course I was, did she even need to ask? I feel like a huge mothering milestone was met when I was gifted that hat and I was so excited to show it off!

She may have been a little more embarrassed when we actually got to the chapel but that little grin on her face is my favorite. So much love for Quinny Cat and her siblings!

Hip Hop Hooray, it's my birthday!

Today I turn 34 years old. Can I just tell you how awesome that sounds? How amazing I feel?! I don't know, maybe 34 sounds old to some of you--I am officially in my mid-thirties after all--but this last year has been one of such awakening and personal growth that I feel so fresh, so alive, so fun and young and confident. I've always been fairly self-assured, but so much of me has been spent outside of myself as I've mothered the last ten years that I began to not recognize the face looking back at me in the mirror, and that is a problem! This last year I've made a real effort to rediscover myself, or rather, get to know my current self, and it's been such a rewarding process. I've unapologetically taken time for self-love, sometimes in the form of morning runs or mid-day dance classes and other times by simply treating myself to my favorite cheese at Costco or allowing myself time to read a checked-out novel from the library. I have taken ownership of my own happiness and put a priority on my care and it's been so empowering. I've also released myself from owning other people's happiness, which does not come naturally for me, but realizing that others are ultimately in control of their feelings has considerably lightened my load. I'm being the best me possible and totally owning it. If this is what mid-thirties feels like, then I think I'm going to like it. 

Of course 34 finds me still asking big adult questions, like what am I doing with my life?! In the fall Coco will start attending preschool and for the first time in ten years I will have a completely kidless portion of my day. Now before any of us gets too excited, it's only three hours a day, but stttiiiiiilllll...what am I going to do with myself? What do I want to do? Get a job? Write a book? Clean my bathtub? Binge watch Gilmore Girls? I gave up my career to raise my children and I don't regret it for a second--staying home with them has been fulfilling and difficult and more than anything the right choice for our family--but all of a sudden I'm living in a house free of babies and I'm itchy for something, I just don't know what yet. 34, will you find me finding it?  

In the meantime, I am fully celebrating the amazing life I have and feeling so grateful every single day for my health, my family, my friends and my abilities. I have been given so much, and don't I know it. At 33 I can host a party with my eyes closed, make a killer charcuterie board, give giant hugs, accomplish difficult running goals and plan awesome adventures for our family. Oh, and I've mastered the weekly Trader Joe's shopping run like a boss. Things I'd like to learn to do this year: fix things around the house instead of calling a handyman to save the day, cook salmon that is actually edible, body wave in my Hip Hop class without looking as tall and lanky as I really am. Well, that last one might not be possible...but I've got a year to try!

And speaking of Hip Hop, who would have thought that my 33rd year would see me taking weekly dance classes?! Not me, that's for sure. But Tuesday's are the absolute joy of my week and after deciding that my 34th birthday definitely needed a party I thought--well, let's do a Hip Hop Hooray bash, obviously! I rented out LA DanceFit on Saturday, the studio where I take classes, and hired my favorite instructor to teach 30 of my closest girlfriends a Hip Hop class. Was it a blast? Yes, yes it was. I loved that we could all get sweaty and have fun together and then afterwards head to the roof for good food and endless gabbing. One thing is for sure, I will never forget my 34th birthday!

Most of the ladies before heading downstairs to the dance floor. I spy with my little eye, the temple on the right-hand side. Wow, I love where I live!

I so badly wish that I could include the video on here because oh. my. gosh. we looked amazing!!!

I wish I had individual shots with every last person in this room (and some who had already gone to the rooftop) but I'm grateful we at least got this group shot so I can always remember all the people who came out to show me some birthday love.

Wil is my dance teacher and he is one of the most encouraging, happy, kind and talented people I know. I got multiple texts and calls after the party from people saying that he made them feel important and saw their potential. I know I sounded silly when I told him he was good at his job, but he is seriously good at his job! On the dance floor and off he is wonderful and I'm so grateful he agreed to come teach the class and make my birthday so special!

Thank you Amazon for making all my hip hop birthday party dreams come true!!!

It got dark and chilly (boo) but the food was delicious, the views beautiful and the conversation plentiful. Plus, we had jackets thank goodness.

Laura was my first friend when we moved to LA for James' internship before Everett turned one. I'm so glad that so many years later she is still such a major part of my life. 

Casey offered to make my birthday cupcakes and James and I both agree they were the best cupcakes we've ever had. And I mean EVER. They were raspberry-filled chocolate cupcakes with chocolate ganache, raspberry buttercream and a fresh berry on top. I can't even tell you how grateful I am!

This is my running club. We ran 9 miles the morning of my party, raced around in a million directions all day, and still rocked it on the dance floor that night. We crazy! And we tired.

 Of course Melissa was the first to get there and the last to leave. There are very few things I can accomplish in life without this friend who sees me at my highest and lowest and loves me just the same. Plus, she's the one who invited me to my first dance class (which I almost refused to come to because I am so not a dancer) so she gets forever brownie points right there! 

I walked in the door on Saturday night after my birthday party and when James enthusiastically asked how it went I burst into tears. "It was amazing, it was perfect, I loved it...but I'm so tired!" Party hard has always been my way of doing life, and I'm not planning on slowing down anytime soon. I'm ready for you 34!

Evie Knight

Lately Everett thinks he's pretty cool. Or maybe I should change that up. Lately Everett is pretty cool. Last night we were at the dinner table and he nonchalantly flips on two pairs of sunglasses and says, "I'm so cool my shades wear shades!" James and I looked at each other like what in heaven's name just happened and then we both couldn't hold back the giggles. I mean, anyone witty enough to plan and execute that baby monologue is legit cool in my book, that's for sure.

He is full of one-liners these days, and they tend to make me simultaneously roll my eyes and fall for the little charmer. Last time he got in trouble for being a bug to his brother he smiled and said, "I'm naughty...but I'm handsome!" He's not wrong. And when I got home from my long run last Saturday he said, "I'm proud of you for running...(starts flexing)...but mostly I'm proud of me for having such a great Mom!" The fact that he turned my run into his pat on the back still makes me chuckle, now that's some self love! A few days ago he was walking around the living room saying, "I'm a lawyer, I'm going to steal your house" in his best Chicago mobster accent and when James asked him about it Ev simply answered, "What, isn't that what lawyer's do?" So, yeah, he's got a lot of respect for the profession that keeps him housed and fed! 

This year Everett has found his place on the playground. His brother had warned him of ball-hogs on the lunch-time soccer and football fields since he's now with an older group of kids but Ev quickly made a name for himself and comes home daily talking about his touchdowns and goals. He's aggressive and works hard and considering just a year or two ago he would cry at the mere mention of competition this transformation astounds me. A while back I walked by the school at lunchtime and sure enough, there was Everett Knight, flags attached at his waist and a football in his hand. Oh, I can't wait for the fall and another soccer season. Watching him play is a real treat.

He's also maturing in other remarkable ways that make me so proud. For example, there are so many nights I find him on Quinny's bed reading the girls their bedtime story without even being asked. He's so nurturing with them, calling them sweetheart and tucking them in and it's really heart-warming to watch. His reading in general is just amazing. That kid is devouring books lately and gets lost in the adventures. Before so much as a hello after school on Monday he's inside doing his "Monday jobs" because he's old enough to just know what to do--and boy does he know how to clean a sink and organize the shoe bin! He only wants to wear full suits to church now (preferably with a pocket square) and comes home from Sunday services really grasping difficult gospel truths and sharing his knowledge and testimony with us. That kid comes off as care-free but there's a depth to him that I'm recently getting to know and it's wonderful. He's wonderful.

But he's still seven and seven is still small and I am soaking it all in before my baby boy is big. His tall socks, the hat he inevitably throws on when I say it's time to brush his hair, his obsession with the song "I'm Blue" and the way he plays Beatles anthems on the piano are all things that I love about him right now, as a 7 and 5/6 year old. Sure he rarely ties his shoes and he's a weasel with either sibling directly linked to him but he's fun and sweet and has a smile and twinkling eyes that make me melt. Serious puddle status. He will always be my baby boy and I will always feel like the luckiest Mom for belonging to him. 

Rach snapped this really fast at Descanso a few weeks ago and I adore it. It's been way too long since I had a one on one picture with my Ever Knight. 

You have not seen a stink-face until you've watched Everett play dodgeball on a Friday night. Oh. My. Goodness. That was entertaining!

These are his shades of choice lately, and of course a hat! He was so proud of his Science Slam lego car, and I'm endlessly proud of him.

Blowing off steam

It's not every day that I force my already-jammied kids out the door for a sunset scooter ride, but it's also not every day that they've fought and screamed and cried so much that I think I might blow up. And I'm not meaning blow up at them, I'm meaning literally explode into a million, billion, trillion pieces from mental and physical exhaustion. A little bit of fresh air always does us a whole lotta good when we need to blow off some steam, and this night was no different. 

Also to note, Coco has moved up to the A Team as far as scootering is concerned and no longer needs to be worn in a pack while I scooter but can take her own around the neighborhood. 

GAME CHANGER!