Happy Surgiversary Evie Knight!

Dear Everett,

 

One year ago today you had your second heart surgery. Unlike the first surgery where the doctors at UC Davis went in through your back, this time you had open-heart surgery by the doctors at Lucile Packard (Stanford). You will never remember this day and I'm so very grateful for that blessing, but I can--and I assume I always will--recall every single moment of this day with ease.

 

I held you at 2 am on the morning of your surgery and fed you your last allowed bottle of pedialyte. I watched your Daddy dress you in a tiny green hospital gown and cried when I saw the huge smile on your innocent face. I handed you over to a tall, young anesthesiologist with sympathetic eyes that let you watch cartoons on his iPhone, and as you were carried down the hall to the Operating Room I felt my knees buckle under me. We waited for hours. You were number 224 on the patient board and even though I try not to be superstitious I smiled because 24 is my very favorite number.

 

When I saw the parade of nurses and doctors that escorted you from the OR to the ICU I was so proud of you, little Evie. I was nervous and overjoyed and proud. I know it sounds silly but at that moment I wished everyone on the floor would have stopped and cheered for the amazing thing that had just happened to you. Oh the mix of emotions a heart mother feels. No sooner were you tucked into your new corner of the ICU than I was a mess of stress. The recovery process is hard, maybe even harder than the waiting period (although each moment feels like the hardest when you're standing in it). The rest of the day and long into the night were spent by your side with tears in my eyes. My emotions went up and down with your ever-changing vital signs. Warning bells rang, doctors and nurses huddled over you and many prayers were said. If I had known that just five days later you would be well enough to take home I may not have been so worried, but unfortunately I didn't.  

 

You were the one that had heart surgery Everett, but both of our hearts were changed that day. You have helped me become so much more than I was. Thank you.

 

Love, Mommy  

 

 January 20, 2012

 

 

January 2013

(these pictures were actually taken last Sunday when Evie and I stayed home sick from church and had a sticker party...notice Evie's adorably sad sick eyes!)