Thursday, January 15, 2015

A few thoughts about who I want to be

So...durp durp.

I was pushing two screaming babes down 70th this morning thinking that maybe I should post on this blog and so I kept asking myself, "Self? What do you want to write about?" And it was like crickets, ya'll. No thoughts at all except maybe please, please stop screaming children and gosh, I could use a nap, and some chocolate, and a massage, and a maid. That's the truth.

But then Thing 2 decided I wasn't, in fact, his enemy and Thing 3 decided that fighting sleep was actually not as satisfying as falling to sleep and as things got quieter in that stroller my brain got louder, in such a good way.

Let's be honest though--it's now 10 pm, I just finally loaded the dishwasher and finished cleaning the leftover preschool mess from this morning and all I want to do is turn on a movie and fall asleep 5 minutes into it, because that's how I do movies. Brain vedge, that's what I'm craving. So I'll make this fast. These quotes have been on my mind a lot lately; A lot, a lot actually, which in Talmage speak means constantly.
 
The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.
-Margaret Nadauld

And this one:

 It seems there is always a road with bends and forks to choose, and taking one path means you can never take another one. There's no starting over nor undoing the steps I've taken. It isn't like I'd want to not have my little ones and Jack and that ranch, it is apart of life to have to support yourself. It's just that I want everything, my insides are not just hungry, but greedy. I want to find out all the things in the world and still have a family and a ranch. But wisdom is not a path, it is a tree, and I can stay in one place and spread out in all directions, and I can do more learning shading this brood of mine than if I was all alone. 
-These Is My Words, Nancy Turner

Yep, there you go-a little insight into my psyche. I feel kind of lame putting it out there without any other explanation but, there you go. I guess I'm just grateful for where I am in life and for this "little brood of mine" and I want to be better, for them and for me. Kinder and softer, right Mom? I want to be a kinder and softer version of my strong, stubborn self. I want to be good in a way that I can't really describe in words but that my soul hungers after. This year is going to look good on me, I'll see to it!

And since I clearly can't have a post without a pic, here are a few of my cute kids:

Quinny makes T awfully popular at school. We're always surrounded by all his little boy and girl friends, begging me to let them hold her, touch her, tickle her, etc. She's adorable so I totally get it!

Quinny and I decided to try out the BBQ from Mighty Quinn's. The name is adorable, the food was just eh.

 Preschool owls from Tuesday.

This little bugger is giving me a run for my money lately. I'm questioning every bit of my parenting abilities because he is pushing every single button. But sometimes during Quinny's naps we cuddle and read books in bed and it seems so perfect that I kind of forget he's such a punk!

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