Revelations Received While Puppy-sitting

Last week I Scooter-sat for a day while our neighbor upstairs was out of town. The task sounded simple--walk the dog two times in a twelve hour period--and to be fair, it didn't end up being that difficult, especially since I farmed out my afternoon walking responsibility to my friend Diana, but I received a revelation during that single walk that may shock the heck out of some of you (but probably won't) and I've decided to come out and just say it--I'm not really thinkin' that any four-legged friends will be joining our family anytime soon...or anytime EVER!

Maybe it's because I think puppies and kittens are so cute, maybe it's because I sincerely have a desire to love animals or maybe it's because I feel like animal-unfriendly people are socially unacceptable but I've always considered myself an animal-lover, well, at least -liker. But alas, after that one single walk with Scooter--him pulling the leash at every bird, squirrel and patch of grass--while pushing a stroller full of my rambunctious 19-month-old (who was also trying to jump out of his seat at the sight of every bird, squirrel and patch of grass) I realized that this was just not for me. One puppy is enough--and that puppy just happens to also be my kid.

I mean, really. How am I supposed to make sure my little dare-devil doesn't fall off the big-boy equipment and photo-document the whole experience, while simultaneously keeping the pup from eating anything white on the ground (a weirdo side-effect of his meds), pooping on the playground and scaring poor little children in the Bronx? It's just not possible. And it's just not going to happen. It was fun to Scooter-sit, but I'm with cjane in making our first pet a robotic one (or maybe a chia?)

And PS--Here's my one and only puppies to-do list. Check. Check. Check. Check.