While it's the perfect fairy tale and hopelessly romantic, marrying a stranger also has it's fair share of surprises. James and I have been married for ten years last week, which means we've known each other for all of ten years...and four months. After less than a month of dating he put a ring on my finger and although it felt natural and right, I can now appreciate why people around us were freeeeeaaaaaking out! I didn't know his birthday when I agreed to marry him. I didn't know his favorite color, or how he liked to take his eggs. I didn't know his favorite music, or what books he liked to read. And those are just the little things. Ten years later I can see how lucky I am because I didn't know how he'd handle tense situations or unmanageable heartbreak, I didn't know if he had a temper or bad habits and I hadn't seen him through so many seasons. How could I have know then how gentle and patient he was? I didn't. And again, I'm lucky it turned out the way that it has.
What I did know ten years ago was that he had a big brain, a kind heart, a good soul and a future full of dreams and plans that included me right by his side. Most importantly I knew that Heavenly Father had promised that when I met the man I was supposed to marry I would feel a burning in my soul and I would know without a doubt that he was the one, and while that never had made sense to me before it was perfectly clear on a cool Sacramento night in December when I went on my first date with James Wigginton and instantly knew that I would be made a Wig! He was the one. Even if I did learn later that he only listens to music made before we were born, haha!
Our ten year mark has caused me to reflect on our marriage, our family, our accomplishments together and how we've grown and changed and improved both individually and as a couple. We've had four kids, filled a wall with James' degrees, dealt with diagnoses and surgeries and so very many moves! The last ten for us has been busy and full of adventure and so incredibly difficult at times but we really believe has been spent merely building the foundation for our life together; these years have been so important and I know we will spend so much of our future thinking about all the lessons we learned during this young, transient and faith-stretching portion of our relationship.
But more than what we've accomplished in the last ten years, this anniversary has caused me to reflect on how well we know each other now, how we understand each other's thoughts and anticipate each other's needs and for heaven sake know each other's birthdays!
He knows that I need furry socks on my feet and a warmy blanket to sleep, even in the heat of summer. He knows that my favorite date night is a movie in bed and that if he lets me have a few extra minutes when I wake up with my cell phone the morning is much more tolerable for me...and everyone. He knows that writing is my release, but also my love language, and he knows that if he brushes his teeth in my presence I'll break out in goose bumps and squeal until he goes back to the bathroom. He knows that I'll be the last and most embarrassing one on the dance floor and will beg him to join me, and also that parties and dinners and big events give me SO MUCH ENERGY! He knows that I like Rum Raisin candy at See's, a bean and cheese burrito at any Mexican restaurant and a life filled with adventures. Adventures, and sunshine.
I know that wherever we go he's going to inevitably find someone who speaks Russian and that the smile on his face when he's talking to them will be bigger than any other's I've seen. I know that he'll choose a documentary on Netflix, a history book from a bookstore, and even on a vacation will find and want to visit ancient or historical or religious sites...and a cemetery or two to boot. I know that he loves to learn and will never forget anything. I know that he's faithful, steady and righteousness comes easily to him. I know that he yearns for cold weather but more importantly yearns for me and the kids to be happy--hence a home in sunny SoCal. I know that he needs a few minutes with his plants each day and I can expect him to dig in the dirt in the middle of the night even before he comes in to say hello after work. I know that he likes to consolidate holiday's for easier celebrations and he knows what I think about that, wink wink.
One of the things I knew ten years ago that is still so true is that James Wigginton is just good and nice and kind to the core. He balances my spiciness (which he now knows alllllll about) nicely!
I say it every year and I'll say it again now. I'm proud of us and the family we continue to create. Marriage takes love and commitment and compromise and work and compassion and for the last ten years we've been doing our best to make it our best. Happy anniversary James, here's to us and many more.
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